Tired, medicated, and still in a shit load of pain.

What am I talking about?

Well I figured I'd fill y'all in with what's going on if you were at all curious on why pictures have been kinda slow as hell getting published here.

1: For the past almost 6 months I've been having a development of back pain that's spreading to my legs. It's not like a normal "Ow I pulled a muscle" type of pain. It's more like, "OH MY GOD MY BONES ARE TRYING TO RIP OUT OF MY BODY!!!" type of pain and it's not that much fun to experience. I've gone to see 4 doctors about this and the last two are the only ones that have actually said close to the same thing.
Turns out I have Degenerative Arthritis in my spine (For those who don't know what that is, there's a joint in my spine that's been basically ground down and my body has tried to fix it. But it's overcompensated and doesn't have a very steady hand so I have an overgrowth in the join and it's very rough) This creates a problem because it's starting to crowd one of my nerves, not much but a little bit. It's enough to make moving around difficult because it will more easily agitate the nerve, which causes pain. Along with this is a Bulging of a Disc next to the same nerve cause more crowding. Again not much but enough to my the nerve claustrophobic. It's a possible early sign of Degenerative Disc Disease, but it's not certain yet. (DDD is when the discs in your back get weaker or grown down or pushed out. It can lead to some very severe consequences.) But that's not all, I may also have a Stress Fracture along one of my vertebrae which can also cause problems.
The thing that's annoying about all of this is that it's not definitive, none of these things are 100% cause of all the pain. I'm going to have to go through some more testing in order to find out. So that's part of the reason why pictures are slow in coming here. There are days I can't draw at all from the pain. But this reason is a small part of why I haven't been posting on here.

2: I'm starting to take caution in what I post here, I don't want to just post anything here. Why? Cuz you guys don't give a shit about everything I draw. I know this place, I've been coming to this site for almost as long as it's been here. So I try to post my best works or my cheesecake pics. If I'm gonna get trolled I might as well get trolled on my favorite works. Unless you guys tell me other wise, like if you want to see my WIPs and works that don't get fully rendered, then I'll post those too. But I don't want to go through all the trouble (Cuz NG tends to be a bitch with posting things for me for some reason) and post stuff that either no one will actually look at (and I get more views on DA than here which is sad cuz this place I get more views by like a factor of at least 10) or just tear it apart without giving pointers. I don't mind someone telling me "This picture sucks balls" as long as you add to it, "I think you should try this ....." because that's what art is about... partially. The beginning of this year was fantastic with that. I got burned sooooo bad on my "sexy" pictures but people were telling me to try other things and were actually helping. Sure I was pissed about it at first but that's just because it was the first time I got real criticism and I wasn't used to it. Now I welcome it. My style in just this year alone has improved so much and I do have a big part of that to thank you guys.

I just felt putting all the ducks on the same page with you guys. I know not many (if any) people actually read this and I know there's a shit load here but... in case there's that one person who's part of my 61 followers that is actually interested in what's going on here it is.

As always I'm open for commissions, look at the previous journal entry to see the details. I'm pretty sure I haven't changed anything since I posted that.

I'm also open for collabs and art trades.

Currently not doing requests for a little while.

If you want to catch everything I do and stay updated on how things are going go to my Deviantart page here ----> http://www.deviantart.com/mrbuckalew

If you want to see my speedpaints go to my youtube and subscribe. Page is here ----> http://www.youtube.com/missingminds

Follow me on tumblr here----> http://mst3kman.tumblr.com

If you like my works but can't afford to commission me or can't do an art trade then just tell your friends. Put a link of my NG page or my other pages all over the place. Even bathrooms.

If you read all this then thanks for your time and I hope you have a better day than I have lately.

-kisses-